"when you least expect it; when you give up on love.
It returns in waves and engulfs you in the undertow."
-T. Jackson

And with this I return.
the summer will dwindle down to the cool of fall and the last four months of school will encompass my life. i will try not to dwell on the past much too much, but i will surely find myself talking to old friends in dark corners and empty spaces. with them i will create a schizophrenic kind of work. perhaps i'll keep up with myself here. in these white spaces. this empty vessel for fragmented. everything. thoughts before thoughts after thoughts sub thoughts with thoughts and so on and so fourth.

Suicide Week

Monday, I have an Anatomy quiz/review for next week's final. Tuesday, I have a 10 minute presentation due about a study I was supposed to do for a month about changing my mannerisms. Wednesday, I have a final exam in Modern Dance History and I have 6 packets to read. Thursday is thursday. And Friday I have 2 quizzes in Music for Dancers.

Along with all of this, I am crewing a dance show Monday-Saturday from 6:30 to 11.
I might cry everyday.

-Tiara

Hip Hop Fest

So fun, but i was a little lonely. I mean I danced with people here and there, but nothing utterly fantastic. I really missed him today, but he knows his priorities. I am proud of him for that. He is a lovely man, but I wished he liked me.

-Tiara

Beautiful Mourning

Mourning can be a part of returning to God. When we have walked away from Him and are living our lives in a way that is inconsistent with the Bible, mourning can be a part of our repentance and return to a better relationship with God. In Joel 2:12, the Bible says, "'Even now,' declares the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.'" Even when you believe that you have walked too far away from God to reconcile, you can return to God with mourning and a repentant heart.



When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're Beautiful


-Tiara

Hungry, I come to you for I know you satisfy. I am empty, but I know your love does not run dry. So, I wait for you and I'll wait for you. I am falling on my knees offering all of me. Jesus, you are all this heart is living for.

Fresh

I miss this more personal kind of blog. I don't care what people think I am posting like i do in tumblr. Also, I think this would be good for me. I have a lot to talk about now that I am back at Calarts. And for anyone who wants to know, I like it here. There are pros and of course there are cons, but i do like it here. I worry for my health though.
I have been reading Holly's blog and it is incredibly beautiful. I have definitely had moments where I knew that something was not right, and it was the lack of the Holy Spirit. I used to be so in love with Christ and I loved everything he did for me, and i prayed and prayed. But now that I do not always have those friends around, nothing is the same. But I need to get myself back to praying often. I need to pray in the morning, in the afternoon, at night. I need to thank Him all the time for allowing me to return, and I need to pray that I will stay healthy enough to get through one dance class without getting into a depressed state or sitting out. 

On another note,
My friend, Cecilia, saw a little sparrow dead on the concrete, so we took our time to help the little fellow whom we named Charlie. We buried him, and gave him a pretty bed, said a few words, and sang him a peaceful song as he flew up to heaven. I felt renewed and refreshed. I felt that Charlie really appreciated us, and I loved every moment of it.

- Tiara